Secrets to Happiness #2
(Instructions: Speak this in a deep, humming voice:)
“Ommmmmmm. As I look into the crystal ball I can read the minds of people I saw today. . .
Tom at work didn’t say ‘hi’ again – He thinks I’m below him.
Julie was looking at me really strange during the meeting this morning – She knows I’ve gained five pounds.
And the way Barbara has been acting towards me lately – I haven’t figured this one out yet, but I’ll keep ruminating about it until I come up with something.”
Does any of this sound a little like you? If so, join the club. Many of us have unknowingly created this habit of not only being dependent on other’s opinions of us, but also assuming we know what they are thinking – and usually assuming it’s negative. It’s our dependency on others to be accepted, to be liked, to fit in. It’s an old need for reassurance from others that we matter.
Where did it come from? I believe it comes from unresolved issues we had when we were young. Those unresolved issues created false beliefs that we are operating our lives from. Another way to say the same thing is that when we were little kids, we had needs that weren’t being fulfilled. Maybe they were needs to feel loved or accepted or worthy. So, we looked to outside sources. Then we started getting good at reading people, to look for clues that they were giving us what we needed.
Sorry folks – many people cringe when they start reading statements like those above. They’d rather not deal with this psychological mumble jumble. They’d rather just get on with their lives instead of looking back. But, you can’t move forward if you are stuck in the past! You’ve got to dig a little back there and figure out what beliefs you formed. Then you’ve got to change those beliefs by creating new ones. You know now as an adult that you were, in fact, loved and worthy back then.
But, you can’t just stop there. You would think knowing this now would be all that you need to move on, but it isn’t. YOU’VE GOT TO START INSTALLING THESE NEW BELIEFS INTO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND!
The trick is repetition. You’ve been operating under these false pretenses for years. Telling yourself a few times that you are great and that you are independent of other’s opinions, for example, is not going to cut it. On the other hand, if you were to start telling yourself this throughout the day every single time you catch yourself worrying over other’s opinions – then that would be a good place to start. And over time, you wouldn’t need to keep reminding yourself of this new belief. It would be programmed in. It would be your new set point.
Do you have a favorite inspirational book or movie where the main character is someone who you aspire to be like? Start watching a few minutes of it or reading a few pages of that book ever single day for the next six months. Things like this start reprogramming your subconscious mind. How about an enlightening Youtube video of a famous speech. Or a book of inspirational quotes. Just remember – repetition.
Another gold mine of positive reprogramming are all the guided meditations on Youtube. There are some for any issue or personal goal you can think of. And here’s a little secret – you don’t have to listen to them sitting in the lotus position in an empty room with a candle going for an hour. You’ll get just about the same benefits by listening to them with headphones on cleaning the house or taking a walk, for example.
These are just a few ways we can being reprogramming our subconscious minds. There are plenty of other ways besides. Just like there are plenty of ways to eat healthy and exercise to keep our bodies fit – it’s the same for our minds.
Do you want to get happier? Start changing yours!
Thanks for reading!
Author of Simply Being Happy
Visualization and Affirmation Expert